


Chronicles of Life and Death

by The Goodest Steve (BabySteveDooDoo)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ficlets, Multi, One Shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 06:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18750898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabySteveDooDoo/pseuds/The%20Goodest%20Steve
Summary: This work is like a journal, written by my AU roleplay character Steve (based on the MCU's Steve Rogers/Captain America).There will be ficlets, poems, short stories and whatever else I feel inspired enough to write here. The stories are based on/inspired by my experience roleplaying Steve on Twitter and, because this is like a journal, all the stories are going to be told from Steve's point of view. Some other MCU characters, especially Peggy Carter and Bucky Barnes, might be mentioned (directly or indirectly).I highly encourage you to leave comments whenever you feel like it! Hope you like it!





	Chronicles of Life and Death

For the longest time, I felt happy. I have always tried to be empathetic with those who weren't, but I never really understood why I was happy while so many people weren't. Was it because I was stupid? Naive, maybe? Clueless? I didn't know exactly.  
  
Sure enough, as I grew older, I started to make some sense out of it. I understood that most of my joy came from the way I would approach the situations happening around me. Being the positive, optimistic man that I am, I often didn't even understand things were not going well until after they had already been solved. It had never caused me any harm, being like that. I was fine.  
  
Turns out that being positive and optimistic during chaotic times is something you can’t do for too long. Sooner or later, if the situation takes too long to be solved, it just becomes too much. You don’t feel like taking care of yourself, you don’t see the point of trying to fight the situation, you just want to lie down and sleep until it’s all over.  
  
You can’t, but that’s what you want to do.  
  
And then, when you finally get to lie in bed after a long day, your eyes refuse to shut. You lie awake, staring at the ceiling, hopeless, lost, scared.  
  
Alone.  
  
Life is full of ups and downs, that’s what people say. They never tell you that sometimes, there can be downs after downs for a really long time. They say there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes, there isn’t. Sometimes, it’s just darkness. It’s a path you can’t avoid. You just follow it, moved by that little spark of hope in the back of your mind that every step you take is a step closer to the finish line even though all you see in front of you is pitch black.  
  
Sometimes I wonder if I have made the right choices so far. If I am the one who got myself stuck in this endless looping of despair and hopelessness or if I’m nothing but a victim. Did I dig my own grave? Did I destroy what I liked most about myself? Am I being buried alive?  
  
I think I will never know for sure.  
  
Did I do the right thing by letting you into my life? Did I do the right thing by choosing to let you go so I could find some comfort in the arms of the past? Are you better off without me?  
  
I hope you are, because there’s no turning back this time. It’s done, it’s set in stone.  
  
I didn't think we would ever get here, but I guess this really is the end of the line.


End file.
